"Fate and Gravitational Pulls"

By: Darlina Marie Magallanes

I could hear the sound of my old fashioned air conditioner blowing rhythms of stale air in to the familiar feelings of desperation that were dancing back to me.
These feelings haven’t been around for years now.
I thought I’d been rid of them forever.
His hands were conductors orchestrating what my body was to do next.
My mind and self control were but passengers quietly observing the scenery.
I could feel the inside of me welcoming him home.
Inviting him to where he’d always belonged but had never been before.
I was revisiting my past on a different train.
An old rail with new wheels on it.
This trip was always so fun to take but the train always tends to break down mid way and leaves me exhausted and abandoned.
I always end up having to find my own way back to salvation on foot.
He did things I used to swear I would never let anyone do to me.
And as I held my position I absorbed each feeling.
Each nerve smiled, screamed, and then exhaled.
My spine sang songs of habitual overture.
A pleasurable kind of tachypneic.
I never knew it before but he is the very reason I’ve always bought red high heel shoes.
Why I keep my hair at my waist.
Thinking of him is what makes wine taste so good in front of dark room window views.
He is why the flame to the candle on my nightstand flickers the way it does.
He is the reason that God gave me these curves, why I never picked up smoking, why I sing songs on Sunday nights.
No one else before him.
Just him.
The seats of this train were made just for me.
It’s not the same train only the same trip.

And I hope this train doesn’t break down because I never want to get off of it.