Silver Thread

Linked hearts, lost keys to rusted shackles… now separate, never separated… love and hate intermingle never segregated… I pushed my ear to the door of my heart to see if it was still knocking. I pushed my fear to the floor in my mind as the emptiness is still shocking

Me… in this broken place

Me, I stand strong disgraced…

by what my life has become as it twirls, twists around what you’ve done.

I was finally smiling in my heart; the good part had just begun

To live…

Living, loving, dying breaths wasted

I tasted life…

Then you smashed it like glasses at Greek weddings but with a different intention...

its like

Weaving in and out of a ballet of metal giants like a single silver thread… threaded lives… my mind rests upon your heart… thousands of miles in between our love now… thousands of reasons to break our marriage vows… but I vowed to love you and so I try… I try to commit and pray, but instead inside I die. Like flowers facing the cold sting of the fall… not the autumn change of breeze but the fall that brings a man to his knees… to his knees to beg, to plead, to say FATHER PLEASE!!! Please give me what I need to be free because I’m not free from this hurt, this pain… the brokenness of loneliness from emptiness is wild. I cannot hold her reigns, I’m spinning out of control, I no longer feel whole… there’s a hole where my heart used to beat and now you can only hear an echo… the resound of tears falling, a man sprawling, laid out, a living corpse, a broken stone, a dying leaf, a falling petal. My time is brief; a single breath gives life and a single lie great strife… I need to be freed. So I fall to my knees and I beg, then I plead and I say FATHER TAKE ME PLEASE!!! Please because I want to be free, I need to be freed from being me.

Gone From You

Let go, her heart is gone from you is what He just said...
and then she said...
I slept with another and no longer want to share this bed...
so...
get out!
Now, I stopped from shock and listened to the tick tock of my slowing heart...
And I'm done showing vulnerable parts...
to people that have the power to paralyze...
You know the long haired kind with real pretty eyes...
eyes that say go, but really meant don't.
Don't you commit your heart to this, so easily... so readily dismissed.
And I missed all the red flags on the way to your place.
I was distracted by the sweet talking, by that sugary taste.
But... it was poison fed by the spoon... and..
it was misleading, that piper's fine tune.
And you keep catching butterflies and wiping the dust off their wings.
so... now they can only flutter for the rest of their ruined life...
And me, well, I'm flailing from the venom of my black widow wife.
But that hourglass was so fucking alluring and...
that look in her eyes so fucking assuring...
That I flung myself right into her web and invited that sting.
The one that greys over your orbs and hides all the pain that she brings...
And..
Now I'm just silently dying inside.

Old Forest

Forsaken, abandoned, left, rejected, alone, unworthy, unloved, ugly, broken, unwanted, insecure, inadequate, unable, instable… all words I recently used to describe myself, yet in my self I know that this is untrue… but its true that this is what happens to a man when his wife walks away. So… I need a way to know that I’m okay. I’m okay to say hey… hey; you look nice today… cuz today I don’t want to feel like a creep, a jerk… She jerked my heart right out of my chest, beating still and still I love her. My heart sings the same song, the one it sung on day one, the one it sung when I first gazed into emerald eyes… eyes of green fire that set my life ablaze… I was an old forest waiting to burn down and down I burned when for her loves my heart yearned, my mind churned all the ways to care for her, for her I took a spill… I spilled my guts and her pains soaked them up… up into the night sky did my thoughts fly… it was the limit… but it takes two to tango into the infinite… and no matter how or which way you spin it, I’m the one that’s left to remit… claims to the rains that spit acidic corrosion, that last firework was a dud… no explosion… though I’ve failed to hold it together, we said we would brave any weather, and when the first storm came… well, she washed completely away… floating out into the sea, with no desire to come home… now I fall asleep and wake up absolutely alone…While she’s drifting

To My Love

When the moon is up high and I'm deep in dreams, I hear your screams...
Screams of my name, then the sun comes and the screams refrain...
nothing remains the same...
At me you point the blame and the result is cracking window panes...
Pains in my heart of being broken and lame...
I limp through life carrying shards of glass that remind of the past.
So, I pray.
And... I present to you the future, a pliable fresh clay...
Not yet baked by fire, not yet ashed by the pyre...
We can fix this tattered flag, revive this love we've had...
We have passion like no others, a beauty life can't smother, its the real thing.
We overcame the most complex lies, took stands in each other's eyes...
In you I see the vastness of life, in me you found hindering strife... 
But I love you
I want to hold you when the river banks breach
I want to carry you when compassion and grace cease
I want to see you when the entire world goes black
I want to chase you when you refuse to look back
I love you when the moon is low and I'm wide awake, I hear your words...
Words that sting my soul as the sun scorches my skin...
I awaken to feeling forsaken over and again...
At you I point the blame and the result is shattered hearts and shame...
Ashamed of myself for being broken and lame...
I limp through life tugging you in your pains that remind of the past.
So, I pray.
And... I'm present in your future, in a renewed fresh way...
Not yet tainted by liars, not yet drug throught the mire...
We will tie this ripping rope, refill this vessel with hope...
We'll have passion like no others, a new fire lies can't smother, the real thing.
We'll overcome simple lies, take rest in the other's eyes...
Because in you I see the vastness of life, in me you'll find refuge from strife...
And I'll love you
I'll hold you when the river banks breach
I'll carry you when compassion and grace cease
I'll see only you when my world has gone black
I'll be right there when you decide to turn back and 
...I LOVE YOU.

Zachariah 

Understand

Deep depressions left on my heart by footsteps of my love walking away… away from the savage nature of my being… being afraid to grow and show things I know that show I love her… her eyes, her smile, her gentleness, her caring, her, being her… I love her… her song echoes in dream so I avoid slumber at all cost and that costs me my sanity which leads me further away, further astray… growing lonelier everyday… everyday is a struggle to understand… I don’t understand how two people can have the same ideals and beliefs and share love and not be able to speak… speak from their respective depths and breaths are wasted spent apart… apart from my love I’m less of a man… I’m less of a man than what I even believe I am, without love, I’m lost… …I'm lost without my love.
-Zachariah

Love Another

Note from the poet:(In order to fully understand this poem or to get the proper effect, you must understand that it was written from the perspective of the beat mimicking my erratic heart beat, which was skipping when i wrote this... skipping from anxiety, stress, a great sense of loss and a bit of anger. It is supposed to be off time and yet somehow still accomplish exactly it's purpose... broken yet beautiful.)


Lightning flashes, thunder peals, the clouds strobe bounce and it all mimics how my heart feels... swells of rain fluctuate in perfect time with swells of pain, my heart is a target and the bulls-eye is BIG. unlike my perception of this situation, my aggravation deepens, my heart's armor weakens. I've become subject to twisted arrows proclaiming love. I'm not above the battle... I sit in it, I bleed in this pit... i breed what doesn't fit in my life's first aid kit... hatred and un-forgiveness like cancer grow, they don't show until what you didn't know has all but killed you. Let go of this brokenness, let it run til it dies of thirst and put the other first... she needs to know you care, that when she breaks the silence, you already stand there... on shores with arms full of bouquets of life... of power... of willingness to sacrifice... self, put YOU on the shelf and let the dust of love gather, or rather... actually simply learn to Love Another.

test this now sonny and the you tube vid is here:

We Gotta Get Away
Brothas Close Your Eyes As We Meditate
Open Up Your Minds As We Fly To A Better Place
Sick Of All These Negative Thoughts, Sick Of The Struggles
As I Carry My Cross I Fall Face First In The Rubble
Then I'm Filled With The Passion Of Christ So I Can Stand Up
Strong Cause My Lord Has The Power To Raise A Man Up
I Used To Feel Like His Will Was Messing My Plans Up
I Used To Turn And Walk Away Everytime He Opened A Path Up
I Heard Him Calling But I Wasn't Ready To Listen
I Had A Demon On My Back Who Was Making All My Decisions
And I Know That It Was Wrong That I Had Him Leading The Way
Thats Why I'm Writting This Psalm And No Longer Cheating My Faith
No Longer Serving Myself, I'm Serving Him And I'm Loving It
Striving To Recieve What He Promised Me In His Covenant
Spreading The Good News, No Matter Who's Making Fun Of It
Loving All Of His People And Feeling Better Because Of It

Ruined

Shattered, battered, torn like old clothes worn to rags, bags on buses, can’t see what the fuss is… is this fate for me?… watching suns rise with blood shot eyes, sleep and love deprived, feeling not really alive… zombie walking into the horizon’s hot gaze, wonder how I make through these desolate days… the ways of a woman make me wonder about love and life, how do I start this endeavor of a lover to my wife… the wife of a broken man, mother of an only child, make passion again and again to pass the whiles… gentle breezes with rain pass over me waking my inner pain, pillows of asphalt, heart joining the oils stains… ruined

The F Word

Fearful of the future’s futile face, forcing the façade of falsehood upon my friends and family forevermore… facing facts of fucked up fraudulent heart feuds… finding freshness in fake footholds, but fountains of freedom forsaken, as I fully fuse fear and festivity, feverish in my fervent flight from finality… like fools force fed forged fulfillment… frowned upon foundations of faulty fruition as fundamentally fought against… frantically fumble toward fallacies, fenced in with fidgety fingers falling fervently to the empty cell I call my life.

Broken Man

Black clouds rolled in today, thoughts of my love bring back my brain’s pain, going surely and slowly insane…
Her voice haunts my sleep, so it’s never too deep…and...
My heart has not healed though time promised she would, I still stand in the exact place I stood…
Wind, snow, rain and sun pass by the hours, slowly stroll through fields of wild flowers, snap shoot buildings, sculptures, towers… while waiting on God’s infinite power…
Eyes steadily flow salty drops, see her smile and my heart still stops…
Yet the sting doesn’t go away, want her here to stay and she won’t even utter my name…
Our brokenness puts us in silence again, lived through the death of our sin, only to end wearing thinned skins, she won’t open back up and let truth back in…
I put her through too much…
Didn’t know how to properly show my love, ran far, fast when push succumbed to shove…
Now I watch the sun settle for slumber alone, with an emptiness that man should have never to know…
In times past, hand in hand, strolled through foreign sands and hummed the soft whisper of the other's heart beat song not planned…
My bronzed eyes sparkle something like blue… tears drip and intertwine with fresh morning dew…
Broken man wandering the earth, missing the fire he couldn’t hold… I’m not good enough for love to watch the mystery unfold…
I worked through shattered spaces to stand in grace, alone in this healing, gaze no longer upon her face…
Hoping His mercy is bigger than the bitterness of brokenness grown out of ignorance from me, long to hold my love again, paid my broken heart’s fees…and...
Damn I love her.

When Death Makes Great Art

Laughter like the sun
Features like the sky
Hold on ‘til it’s done
Then we start to cry
Mother like the earth
Father like a tree
Molded and then birthed
Might look just like me
Pray God everyday
Fall down to our knees
Anger and dismay
Strength in our beliefs
Wonder where it ends
Wonder where we go
Cover camera lens
When the curtains close
If he was around
When there was still time
Then we might have found
What has passed us by
Father like the sun
Mother like the sky
He’ll never know my son
I may just pass it by