"D. Lock Dig"

By: Darlina Marie Magallanes

I am built with the immense capacity to love like oceans.
I bleed emotions the way rain runs down the side walks.
My body language speaks sex while my mind’s mouth talks.
My hips send the wrong messages through high heel satellites.
And all he’s wondering is who I’m going home with tonight.
I blush at his grin and smile at his eyes
Cause he’s beautiful in the way that we embrace white lies.
I become drunk off of his scent and distracted while he tries.
While I’m admiring his tattoos he’s staring at my thighs.

We do this dance all the way to my bed.
And WE DON’T have sex
And I DON’T give him head.
But he touches me in places to private to be said.
And I bite him in places that the clothes start to shed.

Hours go by but the night is to short.
My lust and my morals were at war and since then I can not bring peace to the two feuding fires.
Here I am, days later, still drunk off of the indulgence.
What came first? The physical or my emotions?
I replay that night in my thoughts in slow motion.

Perhaps I’ve watched far too many episodes of “Sex and the City,”
But I am smart enough to know that that one night, was only for ONE NIGHT.
But I was still naive enough to bring him home.
Now I have to suppress my humility and save face for my own grace’s sake.
There’s no use in wasting energy by getting territorial over unavailable spaces.

You see, it’s okay to be sexually stimulated left and right
As long as it doesn’t require to go past ONE NIGHT.
Carnal motivations, well those are alright.
But don’t get all attached because he’ll only bail with the sunlight.
I don’t get upset cause that’s just how it goes.
It doesn’t make it any easier even though these are things that we all already know.
With age we train ourselves to be numb from the chest up.
We get better at being sexually heartless as we grow up.

And he’s asking me to put it in my mouth even though he has no idea what my last name is.
Nor does he care to know it.
So I remind myself of that whenever any hot man is begging me to
BLOW IT…
Out of proportion it’s okay
Because it’s my own oraphis I have to worry about the next day.
I have the ability to love him in the strongest way but…
He doesn’t care about that.

While he’s breathing hard and grabbing, I’m just trying to hold his hand.
And the sad truth is that…I’m just not built for a one night stand.